This was back in 2000, had just gone through a divorce. Had gotten a new pad with a friend and started hanging out with his stoner buddies. (Most of them are still close friends to this day.)

I took something like five hits of acid. I’d tried it only once before and it didn’t too much for me, so I upper the dosage.

I still didn’t get visuals, but it was an interesting trip.

A friend of mine was on the couch flipping through cable and settled on a claymation Don Quixote, which was just perfect for a melting reality. Thumbprints in the clay, rough work.

And I did something really goddamned stupid. I took out my new fancy chisels to practice on a block of wood.

Thankfully I didnt cut myself. I was being careful and just trying to gouge out a volcano on the end of a block of pine, twisting my arm to turn the block.

I went through some deep internal stuff about how I treated myself and women, why I’d been alone for so long.

In the weeks to follow I asked out four women I had crushes on and was shot down each time, but the point was I held onto this shit rather than ever expressed any interest. It was really useful.

So I’m coming off the trip and I’m sitting at my computer, and my hand just slides off the keyboard.

Repeatedly.

I’d held my arm in that extreme twisted position so long whilst contemplating my love life, set to claymation Don Quixote, that I almost gave myself fucking nerve damage.

I’m scared about the blowback.

It was inevitable that eventually somebody would ‘fight back’ somehow.

Now we have to deal with how all the idiots act, react and overreact.

It won’t be pretty, but again, it was inevitable.

The day of, when it happened, I watched the video… and then had to literally touch grass, walk it off, get some fresh air.

Wife got home, wanted to see it, had the same reaction.

I just don’t like watching people die, no matter who it is. But now and then I gaze into the void deliberately.

Heh. Autocomplete.

Any attempt at self-improvement is not pathetic. My phone suggested self-forgiveness, which also is key here.

You are trying to be more aware and less impulsive. The key here is mindfulness, not that it’s easy to attain/achieve.

I said self-forgiveness because beating yourself up for your perceived failures will also hold you back.

Failure is key to success.

I’ve made a little progress toward changing my internal monolog, and it has served me well. Be nicer to yourself and laugh off your failures lest the memory of them become baggage.

My dad is a Buddhist. I never got good at meditation, but I recognize its value.

But mainly, be kinder to yourself. Perfection was never an option, so why would you expect it from yourself?

Relax. Breathe. You’ll figure things out, whether or not you achieve these goals.

I was at a restaurant with my wife’s family - lots of kids.

This place was in a fairly rural area and there were chickens pecking around outside.

While eating one of the kids says “A chicken just crossed the road!”

No hesitation at all I yell “WHY?!?”

I will occasionally butter one piece, peanut butter the other, and have a truly decadent toasted peanut butter sandwich.

“On this occasion, Johannesen had also attempted to hide a mobile phone behind a wardrobe which was discovered when it started ringing during the search.”

This guy was clearly not all that bright. But he is hilarious, unintentionally.

Yeah, anything that has you speaking in game jargon in public should qualify.

One of my friends at a pizza place a few years ago: “I can’t believe I didn’t get to poison anyone last night.”

Me: “Dude, context! We are in public!”

Fax machines!

They were invented long before the computer or modem, with the original patent being issued in 1843.

They seem wildly outdated, but the ability to replicate the signature (iirc) led to faxes being accepted as legal documents.

This speaks more to the underlying usefulness in earlier eras, but it’s still wild to make a phone call that leads to a printed document.

Undocumented immigrants already pay more in taxes while not being eligible for most benefits programs.

This isn’t about a rational solution, it’s racism.

A peacock’s tail is a flourish, something that adds to the whole without detracting.

A cocktail combines spirits with other flavors to make them something else.

I don’t really drink cocktails, but thr antiquated term makes sense in a particular context.

Now looking it up, apparently the origin of the term isn’t actually known and my interpretation isn’t even in the running, but I’m saving this anyway because it’s amusing.

Maps cannot answer that question.

Genealogy could, but has its downsides.

I’m someone who builds up earwax easily, leading to infections.

For the last decade, I’ve been regularly scraping it out with metal spoons. I’m even used to accidentally tapping my ear drum.

Last time I was at my doctors he commented (to the intern in training) that my ear canals are well sloped and naturally clean themselves, and I corrected him. Glad to know he didn’t observe damage I’ve been causing.

I don’t know the why but the first thing I said when I found out was “Polonium”.

When I was in my mid 30s, a cute young 24 year old online started hitting on me.

Turned out she had three kids with three different dads and the most recent one was in jail for domestic abuse.

I still almost went for it though. Problem is my life was in the shitter and couldn’t even afford to fly down or for her up to see me.

We were ‘together’ for about six months when I wised up and broke it off.

I’m talking about Lemmy bots in general, on any instances.

I view all and have to block bots fairly often as they’re posting things in languages I can’t read in large amounts.

I think they’re supposed to use language tags and are not, but I just block them because of there being a large amount of unhelpful content.

And let’s be honest, there’s always gonna be a ton of that, hence my filtering. But if the people making bots to post content could make sure the posts are properly marked, I wouldn’t need to block them and would continue to see the content they post that I can read.

None of them do their language settings well.

While that definitely happened, the thankful reality is that many families raised their daughters unofficially.

The Christian Science Monitor is amazing, and from it’s name you’d never expect it.

My grandmother was a Christian Scientist. I respect her but it’s a baffling cultish offshot.

Its basis, though, was in radiacal feminism in the late 1800s. I used to read the Christian Science Monitor when we would visit her when I was a kid.

A large part of why I defaulted to atheism is from the fact that my Dad’s parents were never openly religious, my Dad is a Buddhist, my mom was nominally Christian, her mom we already discussed, and her Dad was a Congregationalist Minister and organ player.

I figured none of them could be right and it was better to try to be a good person without those structures.

Grandma and I never saw eye to eye, unfortunately.

I should’ve given the full context - when I was a kid watching the news with my parents it was likely late in the Carter administration, or early in Reagan’s. So yeah, fully agreed.