Buddy, if this is your reaction to reading a humouristic headline, you need to touch grass.

Something to remember: thicker filaments, while they do last longer, worsen the ratio of light to heat.

I always find it baffling why they think avoiding to state their name is somehow helpful. Do they believe that the court will just say “well, tell your mister NAME that he is guilty and has to go to prison once we actually find him” ?