NevelioKrejall

10, if that’s as high as it goes. I’m judging ‘perversion’ to be a combination of ‘conceptual distance from normative sex’ and ‘the degree to which the average person would be horrified by it.’ I don’t get banned from places because I’m not a jerk, but there aren’t any ‘communities’ for what I’m into anyway. I don’t think my thing even has a name, really. For that matter, it might not actually fit on a scale like this where the assumption seems to be ‘sex plus some stuff.’ My therapist thinks I should write a book about it.

It’s kind of lonely, and it’s a pain in the ass to find porn (I usually have to just make my own) but I did get lucky in that none of it involves kids or animals or anyone incapable of consent.

“Gotta go read The Hobbit” after my dad claimed he could do it in one ‘sitting’.

I think that varies wildly from one person to another. For me, housework is emotionally exhausting. So is making decisions that affect other people, like where to go for dinner. These are examples where it feels like a bad kind of exhausting. On the other hand, running a D&D game is a thing that’s emotionally exhausting but that I still enjoy doing.

This post has a weird energy. I can’t decide if it reads more phobia or more fetish. Maybe both XD

You’re the kwisatz haderach, Charlie Brown.

A psychopath wouldn’t be worried about whether they’re a psychopath.

I don’t think anybody really sees themselves as a simple ‘A’ or ‘B’ in this way. Maybe I’m wrong. It just seems impossible to simplify an entire life and experience of the world as either ‘blessed’ or ‘cursed’.

Which isn’t to say I think models of human capability can’t be fun.

I like to imagine it more like ability scores in D&D. Someone might have low Wisdom, but training and proficiency can still make them extremely perceptive. And in some cases, you can find ways to leverage an unusual ability when you’re trying to do something, like making an intimidation check using Strength instead of Charisma. What is a weakness in one scenario can be a strength in the next.

This model is still simple enough to visualize easily, but has enough moving parts to allow for lots of different ways of being without any one way being ‘good’ or ‘bad’. Neurodivergence might be part of the stats you roll up, but your circumstances and your choices combine to build a life experience around them that can be completely different from another person who rolled the same numbers. Likewise, different rolled stats can affect how well you handle certain situations and adventures, but this is neither a curse nor a superpower, and is true for everyone.

Models only get you so far, but humans are a social species. We need each other by our very nature. Teamwork is in our DNA. And, like DNA, teams are more adaptable when they are diverse. Everyone has something to bring to the table, neurodivergent or otherwise.

Assuming you are genuinely asking, “ugly” is entirely subjective. Someone might be unattractive to you for any number complex reasons, including the possibility that you are simply not who they are trying to appeal to (or they don’t make appealing to other people a priority at all, for political reasons, personal reasons, or just convenience), but there is no objective standard of ugliness, despite what mainstream media and beauty standards may want you to think. Everyone is beautiful to someone.

Hey, this is my exact story, including the undiagnosed ADHD, dropping out of college, the dead-end wage slavery for way too long, and now having a decent paying job that isn’t what I went to school for, but that also doesn’t kill my soul.

Except: I have an epilogue!

I still don’t have a degree, but I never stopped practicing my art because I am simply incapable of stopping. It’s what I do. I recently got a side gig that was my absolute unrealistic pie-in-the-sky dream job when I was in college, working for the very creators that inspired me to choose my major in the first place. College wasn’t what got me there. It was passion for the artform, introspection/therapy to develop a more forgiving and accepting attitude toward myself, and sheer perseverance. I spent the first 18 years of my adult life thinking failure and dead ends were all the universe had to offer, but I kept trying anyway (mostly to spite that hostile universe in a ‘fuck you, kill me yourself’ kind of way).

It’s not over until it’s over. You don’t know how your story ends. Keep trying. If someone says you missed your chance, fuck 'em. They can’t see the future any more clearly than you.

Even if you didn’t like their coffee, they sell like candy and sandwiches and mugs and stuff? That’s not a useless gift card and I’m sorry you lost it!