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The fact that that was my first thought is the reason I will be touching grass for the remainder of the day.

Isn’t spirulina more effective for capturing carbon than trees? And also you can eat it in the way you don’t normally eat trees? Trees are great and all but why do you want me to be angry about algae?

Even as a millennial this is one of the first games I played (and I still love it). I dumped the ROM so I can play it forever.

Cleverly, even low levels can be detected. I love how creative early smartphone developers could be.

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.rdklein.radioactivity

I like them, personally. You don’t have to use them but they are sometimes handy. I just spent 30 seconds feeling around a TV to turn it off only to discover it doesn’t have buttons. Killed it at the wall.

It’s not a deal breaker, in any case. The weird foreign convention I would like to shame is doors that require a key to open from the inside.

One of the 10,000 club today, buddy. Enjoy your soup.

On chess, there is a moment in 2001: a Space Odyssey wherein HAL and Frank Poole are playing chess. A more attentive person than me pointed out HAL cheated. I paused and looked at the board forever. I almost gave up. I thought I would never figure it out. Finally figured it out! I have never felt so smart for wasting so much time.

The person who had your number previously used WhatsApp. Maybe they are still using that number for WhatsApp.

Biblically accurate Iron Man.

Did you put it back in the refrigerator? Did Mom find it under your bed? This wasn’t an accident; someone made an intentional power move and your family is toxic.

I know what you all want.

Did you shout ADVERTISEMENT in the middle of your comment?

I think you hit the nail on the hand with this comment.

Those spicy Skittles.

How often are you even using your death certificate? I mean, yeah, the discount at Disneyworld is a sweet deal, but otherwise?

Somebody laminated my birth certificate. But what are they going to do about it, unborn me? Wait… will they?

Edit: What if somebody laminates my death certificate? 😭

Build an enormous induction coil under the power lines?

Several years ago, some silver spooner said we would be able to buy homes if only we didn’t blow all our money on things like avocado toast.

I only saw it this year and wasn’t expecting much, but the cinematography is gorgeous.