Add Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn to that pile. Can’t stand any of 'em.

Are we talking about Jack Black, or The Rock…?

That’s one lazy loch ness monsta.

My dad, the tech genius that he is, has been against every minor step forward since the 90’s:

“Why do i need an answering machine, if they need me, they’ll call back.” He worked for himself as a handyman, so this is plain ridiculous. Finally, someone gives him an answering machine and suddenly it’s “This is awesome! I never miss a call! I’ve got so much work!” Later it was “Why do I need a debit card? I can just write a check!” which evolved to “It’s so convenient! I can get gas, even when they’re closed!” He repeated the answering machine argument when cell phones arrived, and repeated the results when he finally got one.

It’s a running theme in his life. The one that really gobsmacked me was when he proudly declared “the Internet can’t hurt me if i don’t get on it!”

“She sounds HIDEOUS!”

Ditto buses and subways

I just can’t see myself having any attachment before their personality develops. If this happened to me, I’d just chalk it up to a ~2 year time loss and go for another pregnancy. Thoughts?

Yeah, don’t have kids. Or babysit. Or own a houseplant. Holy hell.

never interacting with any under maybe 7-8 years

So, you were born at 18+, eh?

I just can’t see myself being at all sad in their passing if they’re younger than 5.

“You must circle the sun this many times before I give a shit about you.”

OP is ostensibly a woman, so, no. Your misandry is showing.

Little known fact: the author of The Iliad and the voice actor of Poochie the Dog are the same person!

Since you specified NES, og Zelda and Maniac Mansion

Aka “UNCLES”

Now, your astrological forecast: Leo, you gonna die; Virgo, you gonna die; Gemini, you gonna die. Twice.

About 2 bushels and a peck.

“I see yer mother’s been tellin’ ya stories about me ag’in, boy!”

It’s a little outdated by now. Main character of American Beauty, played by Kevin Spacey. Great movie.

Your comment reads like parts of that movie. “…I escape to the bathroom to masturbate and fantasize about a life that doesn’t so closely resemble hell.”

Is your name Lester Burnham…?

I work in event production and showbiz. This is me after every 15 min break.

…“seem”…?

“It’s SaTAHN, actually.”