I haven’t done any Uber driving for quite some time and never did DoorDash at all, so keep in mind this information may not be valid…

From what I could see, Uber never took a cut of the tip, so app vs cash shouldn’t matter…but…I would still prefer cash, because I wouldn’t be surprised at all if Uber did, in fact, take a cut. Though more importantly, just make sure you tip one way or another. There was something clearly faulty with how Uber calculated their fees for food as opposed to passengers. I did a few Uber Eats deliveries, but turned it off once I saw how little it paid. $2-4 for 30-40 minutes was ridiculous, and it only gets worse if you have any problems (food wasn’t ready…or the customer has you bring it to their door which could be on the 8th floor of their apt building…oh, and you can’t park at the apt building without being a resident…or maybe the Uber Eats driver before you grabbed your order). I strongly discourage using Uber Eats unless you’re prepared to tip very, very well. Uber is barely paying them. I was only occasionally driving for Uber for extra cash around my full-time job, but there are people that are taking every ride that comes up because it’s their only income. Until compensation in the food service industry is fundamentally reworked, always tip well.

I’m just going to avoid the strenuous exercise part.

Obviously it’s not The Onion. It’s way too weird for that.