

So, as someone who’s been cheated on… I can say with certainty that I would never be able to be intimate or vulnerable with my ex. I’m not talking about sex. I’m talking about actual intimacy. It takes trust, and that trust has been broken.
I wouldn’t give an absolute “don’t do it” because everyone is different and every relationship is unique, and I certainly wouldn’t chime in without being asked, but I doubt very much the relationship you have now will ever be what you had before.
It doesn’t really matter what you do, or how you’ve changed. The thoughts will still be there, insidiously causing doubt.
to put this another way… expertise is superior to intelligence. Unfortunately we have this habit of conflating the two. intelligent people some times do some incredibly stupid things because they lack the experience to understand why something is stupid.
Being a skilled doctor or surgeon doesn’t make you skilled at governance. two different skillsets.