but he’s always such a whiney bitch about it.

Who wouldn’t want to eat souls, impregnate 13 year old virgins, and demand the foreskins of your enemies. Sounds like a cush gig.

I’d be Mr Body, from the board game “Clue”. The greatest benefit of being Mr Body is that he’s dead before the game even starts.

I’ve used one called “manything” (Monitor anything). It turns your obsolete cellphones and tablets into a network of web accessible security cameras.