

I’m personally of the belief that you are largely the sum of your experiences, so yeah a total loss of memories would mean I am by some definition “dead”. That said, you could easily argue by that same logic that the “me” of a year, month, or even minute ago is also “dead”, since she lacks the experiences that makes me who I am now. I don’t even dispute that that much tbh.
I’ve experienced both sides, and there is definitely a different quality to the attraction and horny-ness. It’s hard to put my finger on or describe in a way that isn’t a cliche like “aggressive” and “raw”. It’s less romantic? It fills your mind a little, it’s impulsive, it doesn’t have the same yearning. At least for me.
For what it’s worth I prefer my attraction and sex now as a woman. Not to act as an internet doctor, but I definitely felt a bit like you when my testosterone was too low. All women have testosterone and having the wrong amount can affect sexual desire - it might be worth having yours checked.