“In England, Smokey the Bear is not the forest fire prevention representative. They have Smacky the Frog. It’s a lot like a bear, but it’s a frog. I think that’s a better system. I think we should adopt it. Because bears can be mean, but frogs are always cool. Never has there been a frog hopping toward me, and I thought ‘Man, I’d better play dead. Here comes that frog.’ I would never say “Here comes that frog” in a horrifying manner. It’s always, like, optimistic. Like, ‘Hey, here comes that frog, all right. Maybe he will settle near me and I can pet him, and put him in a mayonnaise jar, with a stick and a leaf, to recreate what he’s used to.’”

• Mitch Hedberg

I use the neilmed sinus rinse almost every day and it has been life-changing. Last time I got sick there was no stuffy nose or runny anything because I just cleaned it all out it was phenomenal.

My wife and I used to get hot chocolate and visit every spirit Halloween in our state. Later on we got married on Halloween. So those two together are really special to me

I was stuck in a tunnel going to pick someone up from the airport and really had to pee, like emergency had to go. So I tried to pee in a bottle on the down low, and ended up having to stop short and hurt my penis very badly. When I finally got to the airport and was able to finish urinating there was blood in it so that was fun

https://mynoise.net/

I’ve used so many noise apps and sites and this has been my favorite. The thunder storm is my go to but rain on a tent is really good too

Neck pain from sleeping funny causing a headache? I get that pretty often

Almost 800 bucks on a Flair 58. I already had a decked out coffee setup but I couldn’t resist. Now it’s my go to machine.

Spread dandelion seeds. You can buy them online and literally just toss them everywhere and he will never be rid of them. Or kudzu Vine that shit never goes away

Ha I was actually just thinking that we need to teach them as I was reading this. We had to go through a shit ton of trial and error. God forbid if he started with something like LimeWire. Viruses… Viruses everywhere

He screen prints on assholes? Sweet I’ve been thinking about turning mine into a beholder

Is your job really a dangerous as they make it out to me? Like I understand the lights and trying to rush through traffic can be dangerous but don’t most people just kind of pull off to the side like you’re supposed to?

You just clock in everyday say don’t use Boeing and then leave?

Are these side jobs under the table or things you actually have to get permits for? I’ve known a few people who do the former and it can be really lucrative

Peanut butter on hamburgers. Really nice contrast especially if you also include pickles

I’ve never seen the show or gotten past the first couple pages of the first book so we’re in a similar boat

Dude got holes. Ladies love a handy man

Don’t think of it that way. You’re not saying oh this is terrible so now you have to do this. You’re saying this is a demanding job and you ought to have respect for the people who do it. Give them a little insight into the hardships of the people they’re giving shit