That woman has the smile of the internally dead.

even countertop variants

Good thing countertops have no use in a kitchen!

Where did I say yellowjackets were bees?

They already like to have fun by attacking sailboats. Orcas are comrades!

Yellowjackets can sting the fuck out of you multiple times, too. I got stung by two of them last summer and then they somehow got inside my t-shirt and stung me a bunch more times before I made it inside and flung my shirt off. After waiting half an hour for the pain to subside, I picked up my t-shirt to put it back on and the two yellowjackets fell out of it, still alive. Fortunately they were as surprised as I was and I was able to stomp them before they stung me again.

Ooooooooh what a lucky man … he-ee was ^{was was was}

I’d go with Hopper from A Bug’s Life. I’m sure he’s a huge threat to Dave Foley and Julia Louse-Dreyfus, but I ain’t worried about no grasshopper, even one voiced by Kevin Spacey.

There was also the two world wars to consider in terms of horse deaths. Of course those horses died for a noble cause: helping humans slaughter each other in even larger numbers.

They say the two happiest days in a horse owner’s life are the day they buy the horse and the day the horse tramples them to death.

Republicans have consciously targeted a fifth grade educational level for decades now. Trump’s innovation was targeting a third grade level.

I got a temporary ban once for racism - for a comment I made about a nonexistent race.

So I guess “musk impregnates influencers” would be OK? Even though that’s a lot more offensive IMHO …

Where on earth is “fuck shit piss”?

Not being a dick is free too.

And even if they do give out free tap water … they might not mean lead-free.

I live in the Philly area. Senior citizens can use SEPTA (buses and commuter trains) for $1 a ride.

I second the biking … but that shit ain’t free. Even used bikes cost some money to buy and maintain, and brand new bicycles are solidly in the “insane” category these days.

My local library loans dongles! Now if I can just manage to check one out without snickering …

I added a few closed businesses like you recommended.

Lol. It’s funny, the college I went to went belly up a few years back, and it occurred to me that I could basically say I had whatever degree I wanted to have on my resume and there’d be no easy way for an employer to check it out. I don’t have a Computer Science degree, but I never found that to be the slightest hindrance to my career so I was never tempted to lie about my degree. With the way the CS field has gone tits up lately I would probably have to do something like that to even be considered for a job, but I’m a school bus driver now so I don’t give a shit.

I used to do a lot of interviewing of prospective hires at my last job (I’m a programmer). It was not at all uncommon to ask a candidate a question and then hear multiple voices whispering in the background along with frantic keyboard tapping sounds, and the candidate would take 5-10 seconds before answering. I just don’t understand what their thought process was for even attempting this - it earned them an immediate “no further action”.

I won’t say what country all of these candidates were from. It would be obvious to anyone in this field.

I just wanna lose my gut

The most critical part of losing weight is counting the calories of what you eat, so you know exactly what you have to do to lose the weight. One pound of body fat is equivalent to 3500 calories, so if you can manage to eat at a 500-calories-per-day deficit you will lose one pound per week (most people lose scale weight at a faster rate than this when they first start dieting, but this is water weight loss and won’t be maintained in the long term).

Will drinking less alcohol and fewer sweet treats put you into a 500 calorie daily deficit? There’s no way to know unless you start recording the calories of everything you eat on a daily basis.