Yeah, and the worst is when people are talking about something I know a lot about, getting virtually every detail wrong, and I have to resist saying anything because I know my input will either be ignored, or worse, straight up unwelcome.
Luckily the blessing of being dumb as bricks is that that doesn’t happen a lot, but I sure hate when it does.

I don’t have direct examples because I suck at googling, but what I saw that made me think of this was an ancient Greek philosopher insulting another, presumably in a rude tone, but still translated to look super polite and old timey. The explanations people have given here have really shed a lot of light for me on why that is though, so it makes sense to me now.

I tried to find examples but turns out I’m really bad at googling. Quotes of ancient Greek philosophers is one example though. Surely not all of them spoke formally, and I’ve heard some even spoke rather rudely, and yet when they’re translated they’re still translated into really formal, old timey language. There’s been some nice explanations here of why that is though, so I understand a lot better.

I’m bi and every relationship I’ve had was like this. Drooling over people and characters together is just something I like to do in relationships. It’s a fun bonding activity. Plus it’s weirdly good for my self confidence for somebody to be drooling over somebody else who even I know is hot as fuck but they still clearly want to be with me more.

I’ve only properly been a woman for like, 5 years now, but I’ve honestly only had one dude ever attempt the fourth panel. Most dudes who try to flirt with me do it by talking about their interests and relentlessly complimenting me every time I know something about it or have something to add. That said, it does work on me.

Trans, wasn’t ready to use my new name IRL, or come out to anybody, so I took the word “Somber” and shoved a Y in it because it makes it really similar to my chosen name, so I could feel like I was being called my preferred name every time somebody said it.

Now that I’m this far into my transition it’s nothing but a relic, but I like the username anyway.

Starvation after all the people supporting me die and I refuse to get help any other way, eventually leading me to forget to go shopping for food until I’m too hungry to get up, leading me to just wait for death to take me.

I skip the fourth step from the bottom on every staircase. It started because multiple staircases I regularly traversed coincidentally all had spiders make their homes on the fourth step, so I’d step over them. And then I just never shook the habit.

You are correct that in most environments, it is the other way around. In most places, women wanting tall men is considered normal and acceptable, but men having any preference at all is not. My point was not about how things are in society as a whole, but how things are on the larger Lemmy instances. However, even that seems to have rapidly changed since I made this comment. There was a thread about men’s issues I saw recently that didn’t devolve into “this is why women are awful” and actually stayed on topic, and that was really nice to see.

What I was frustrated about was that there was no space where both men’s and women’s preferences were respected, and also not resorting to body shaming when people do not meet those preferences. Lemmy is primarily dominated by men, which naturally makes it easier to talk about men’s issues without being shamed for it, but it did lead, for a while, to women’s issues not only being overlooked, but also often being intentionally ignored or outright shamed, mostly because men could not understand these issues they’d never experienced, so they didn’t feel as real (which is largely the same reason women often have trouble respecting men’s issues.)

I’m guessing it has to do with Lemmy’s population finally growing again and new perspectives being thrown into the mix, but I’ve noticed a lot more empathy about gendered issues lately, which is nice to see.

As far as whether you risk your account for only wanting cis women, probably depends heavily on the instance. A shocking amount of the time people use preference as a cover for bigotry, so I wouldn’t be surprised if some mods are heavy on the trigger finger when it comes to that. Not that there’s not legit reasons to not want to date trans women. We can’t provide biological children and a large portion of us have no desire to “fully” transition, which are both reasonable reasons to not want to be with a trans woman (and of course that’s not an exhaustive list of every valid reason.) It’s just often people who say that mean they don’t view trans women as actual women and don’t want to date them because they’re “not gay.”

I don’t mind AI art at all as long as it’s not posted in any art of photo based communities (besides ones intended for AI art.)

When it comes to memes, I don’t even care if those are labeled as containing AI art. Memes are naturally derivative, so labeling it as AI art would be like linking the exact stock photo you used. Wouldn’t be mad if we did label them though. Just don’t want there to be a double standard.

Encountering AI art in photo communities is super annoying though. It’s increasingly common for people to submit obviously AI photos and that’s super annoying.

At least that means I get to be rich and hot. Better get shopping for castles to brood in I guess.

Considering a broken bone didn’t cause any bruising, I don’t think I’m up for the Drukhari shit they probably have in mind.

I’ve got a fair amount of fat and muscle on me. That could be a factor though. Maybe one of the reasons I don’t bruise easily is because I absorb the blows better than I used to. Back when I was bruising constantly I had alarmingly little body fat.

Combined with some of the stuff other people have mentioned, I can see there being enough factors piled on that the injury would have to be really severe before I start having noticeable bruising.

It was good until I broke the same toe the same way again. I’ll never break any other bones, just that toe over and over again. Luckily there’s been basically no pain this time since I’ve actually been treating it properly and staying off it.

It’s nice to know my arteries are good considering my doctors hate my veins. Getting blood drawn often takes 3 or 4 attempts and when I need an IV they break out the ultrasound.

And the drunk bit does make sense. When I broke my toe while drunk, I didn’t even know it was broken and just kept walking on it, so maybe that’s why it bruised when I normally don’t.

Your point of view is completely valid, and I do like having alternative points of view presented to me (hence why I said I didn’t want to turtle up in a more accepting instance.) In the end, I’m not an expert on thus kind of stuff, I can only argue based on my personal experience and how things have made me feel.

I think regulation is a completely valid way to approach it, considering it’s still a step forward regardless of if it’s the best way or not, so I far from oppose the idea. It’s just not the way I would do it if I were in charge.

Honestly, in the end, I think true equality is impossible, and is more of the ideal than the end goal. The only important part to me is to make sure we’re always going forward instead of backward.

I agree with you for the most part, but in practice it’s way more difficult to regulate out discrimination if you don’t first have enough women (or other minorities in other cases) working in the field to function as a support network. Even if you get the job at that point, if you’re not made to feel welcome there there’s a solid chance you’re not gonna keep that job, because nobody wants to deal with that every day.

I don’t like the idea of restricting men from the same opportunity, but there isn’t much other solution until the playing field is made more even.

As far as your last paragraph goes, pretty much in full agreement. When I say men and women need safe spaces away from each other, I don’t mean they should be secluded from each other, which is what places like that tend to cause. I mean things like support groups, friends they can vent to, and even online forums and such specifically for them. There still needs to be plenty of exposure in our daily lives though to the issues of men, women, and minorities.

My issues with Lemmy primarily come from the fact that the site is massively male dominated, which means it’s become largely an echo chamber. People here as a result have become much more sensitive to men’s issues, which is a good thing, but the tradeoff is that there’s virtually nobody stepping in for women’s issues, sometimes even going as far as to deny the issue even exists. I know the rest of the internet is often the other way around, but I really wish we could have at least one space somewhere on the internet where both men and women are allowed to say things like “this makes me uncomfortable” or “this makes me feel ashamed of my body” and be taken seriously.

I was really hoping Lemmy would be that space when I first signed up, and it was really disappointing to realize what it was actually like. Luckily, there are some instances out there that are more balanced on that, but I’d rather not have to turtle up in one of them.

Basically what I’m saying is some things need to cater to specific crowds to function. We don’t need to get rid of the law, we need to adapt it (tbh, I don’t think we should have to do that either, I think people should respect when something’s not made for them on their own, but that won’t happen.)
I’m not just talking about things like this job fair. I’m talking about shelters for abused people as well. I might just be imagining it because it was so long ago that I read it, but I remember cases of shelters for abused men getting shut down for discriminating against women, which is ridiculous because those shelters are gender divided for a reason.
In this case, these kind of job fairs are to help more women get into male dominated fields, which is really tough because of the amount of abuse and discrimination they get in those fields.

Men and women in a general sense experience different kinds of societal issues and need to be allowed to have safe spaces away from each other.

That is the post I was talking about. I did forget about the few higher pro-woman comments. I guess I tend to remember the bad more than the good.
Still unpleasant how many people around here are completely ok with stuff like that though, but I suppose it’s worth focusing on the positive.

I hope it’s not rude that I checked your profile and saw your explanation. I can see how I might have misinterpreted that. The way I interpreted the “sensitive men” and “emotional labor” part was as reinforcing the toxic masculine stereotype that men are supposed to just “man up” and not show emotion. Unfortunately, that’s an aspect of toxic masculinity upheld by women just as much as men.